Arts & Crafts class is frequently mispronounced by young children as “Carts & Afts.” Correcting them is an effort in futility.
Carts & Afts safety scissors are actually more dangerous than regular scissors because they encourage kids to try harder to cut themselves. They are amazingly successful.
Carts & Afts class seldom produces art. On rare occasions, however, the kids finish their class projects early and get to make whatever they want. Now I have an abstract pencil holder made of clay, a modernist puppy sculpture made of beads, my name written in Mandarin Chinese (though I highly doubt it) and a portrait of myself mysteriously wearing a cape with a sun on one side and a crescent moon on the other.
On the first day, everyone thinks that 10 sit-ups and push-ups are fantastically unjust. On the last day, they are so proud of themselves for reaching 100 that they hold sit-up competitions to see who is the strongest. If my one accomplishment all summer was to inspire kids to build healthier bodies, then I am satisfied.
Sometimes they hold sit-up competitions after lunch and get sick. This is not my fault.
Some of the kids actually think that I can only count up to eight.
Most boys can touch their toes more easily than most girls. I don’t know why.
Most kids think that Aerosmith is just a new version of Guitar Hero. On the flip side, they now know selections from The Rolling Stones, Kiss and Pat Benetar.
One kid thinks the lyrics to the Beatles song Saw Her Standing There says “I’d rather dance with your mother – ooh!”
Kids that are allergic to nuts and wheat can’t eat jack.
My co-workers can get out of work for any number of fascinating problems. They have managed to get caught in a tornado, have their house struck by lightning, sit on a bee, flush their keys down the toilet and fall into a cactus patch.
A band-aid and a Capri-Sun can heal all wounds.
Kids are like parrots; they stop talking when you turn off the lights.
According to our campers, July 18 was Act Like a Mime Day. This is the best day of the year because the children don’t talk…ON PURPOSE. They also wear striped shirts and berets and pretend to be drowning or trapped in boxes for extended periods of time. Not kidding.
Ages 6-10 get dropped off and picked up at precisely the right time, bring a homemade lunch in a High School Musical lunchbox and have great audiences of parents, grandparents, aunts, uncles, siblings, teachers, friends, neighbors and people they met at the park that are amazingly supportive.
Ages 11-18 straggle in about fifteen minutes after call time, buy a frozen entree from the grocery store next door for lunch and are lucky if they get both parents in the same room. The cast is family for a lot of them. This is why we exist.