One of the things that I love the most about our house is that there is so much light. The entire downstairs is window after window and both of the doors are glass, which is only an inconvenience when there’s someone at the door and you want to check to see who it is before answering. When I woke up this morning, I thought that we had lost power again. Everything was dark and grey and silent. I checked the microwave clock, my surefire test, and it told me the correct time. Alright, I said aloud to myself, we have power. What’s the deal?
I looked out of the window to see…nothing. We live on the marsh, so if someone else has an ounce of fog, we have a pound. The entire back patio was nothing but grey, from the deck to the sky. The outside looked like one big bowl of condensed soup that my spoon would stand straight up in without falling. No rain, no visible condensation, just thick puffs of fog at every window and a really weird feeling in my stomach.
After about ten minutes, it began to rain that thick, heavy, tropical storm rain that we get so often here in Savannah and the fog dissapated. Because I overanalyze everything, I started to think about what I have to do today and how it relates to the rain. This afternoon, I have to announce the cast lists for two different shows, which doesn’t sound so harsh in the grand scheme of things – I’m not sending young men off to war or putting young women in prison camps – but for my community its a huge deal that either elates or depresses. You know how in a movie you can always tell that its the worst day of someone’s life because it starts to rain? I just had this vision of some of these kids sitting inside all day because of the rain, waiting for the phone to ring so that I can tell them the good news and then receiving only disappointment. It isn’t because they aren’t good enough. Really, who is ‘good enough’ anyway?
I know that in reality, they are surfing the web (hopefully not reading this), blowing things up on their XBoxes or – dream of dreams – reading a book, but to some kid out there, being in this show is their answer to getting away from home for a few hours a day or making new friends. And I just know that even though every one of them is talented, the kids who get leading roles are going to be taken out for ice cream to celebrate while the kids who are in the ensemble will just get a pat on the back, even though they all ran the same obstacle course and deserve the same double-scoop cone.
I don’t like being the bearer of bad news because, invariably, the people who are disappointed reveal so much more emotion than the people that are excited. The ones who are cast feel like they have to stay professional on the phone, so they keep all of their joyful-joyfuls inside until they hang up, while the sad ones just tear up immediately and start asking me for reasons why they weren’t cast. Kids who get the roles they want never ask ‘why.’
Stormy weather makes me think too much.
It also makes my hair pouffy.