Jenntertainment's Weblog

Adventures in children's theatre.

Please, call me ‘Wheezy.’ February 7, 2008

Filed under: Jenn-eral — jenntertainment @ 8:06 am

I make this funny little sound when I exhale. Kind of like that evil white dog on those Hannah Barbara cartoons. Yesterday I asked one of my doctor-friends if he could call me in a one-month prescription of Allegra D to tide me over until I could see my regular physician. Always the Best in Show, he brought me four boxes of samples! Wowzah! This makes me even happier than all the Moose Munch I got for Christmas. Hopefully, it will kick in by tomorrow morning’s Go, Dog, Go rehearsal.

Ah yes, Go, Dog, Go. The epitome of high art and culture, the creme de la creme of moderninity and the best time any Lowcountry preschooler could ask for. Since the play is written for pre-K students, it is wildly A.D.D., switching from one zany activity to another with reckless abandon. We play baseball! We have pillowfights! We climb up trees! We teach primary colors! And yet I can’t stand it. Maybe its because I have been sick both times we’ve produced it. Maybe its because I’m more of a cat person. Or maybe its because of this:

Dogs in Cars

That would be me and three close friends – all great performers in their own right – straddling Playskool cars and wearing primary color ears and tails. The show is about forty minutes long and includes much singing, dancing, revelry, riding of too-small cars and naming of colors for preschoolers who enjoy that sort of thing. There are only 27 different words in the whole script. If you aren’t three, this play may not be your bag. I am cast as Yellow Dog, I think because of my tremendous ability to act like a mentally retarded child. MC Dog gets to do audience participation with the kids, Hattie Dog gets to pop out of a cake and – guess what – wear cool hats, Green Dog gets to skateboard, Red Dog gets to sing and Blue Dog gets to play with powertools…whilst I tap dance on bubble wrap, ride a scooter and identify things that are yellow.

None of the other dogs do that. Identify their own color, I mean. Below is a sampling of my lines.

(While pointing at a luan cut-out  sun) The sun is yellow!

(While pointing at a luan cut-out tree) The tree is yellow!

Etc, etc. I am Special Needs Dog with a color fixation and frequent upper respiratory distress. Please, call me ‘Wheezy.’

***And now for a moment of shameless self-promotion! Go, Dog, Go, a visually stunning musical based on P.D. Eastman’s classic children’s book, will be playing at SCT this Saturday and Sunday at 3pm, as well as several weekends throughout March and April. Tickets are $10 and are available at! Visit any local daycare to receive a coupon worth $3 off the admission price! Woof!***


4 Responses to “Please, call me ‘Wheezy.’”

  1. April Says:

    I am thrilled that you are blogging. Because we are both so busy we don’t get to share in all of the little joys and frustrations that make life so interesting. And reading this makes me laugh out loud. You have always been a great writer – I’m glad to see you keeping up with it and I look forward to many more!

  2. Diane Says:

    Perhaps you could learn the word Yellow in many different languages – I would personally start with pig latin and then progress from there. I might also use this skill when anyone asked me a question I was uncomfortable answering. “Does this make me look fat?” – your answer “My shirt is yellow.”

  3. Noah Says:

    Woah three good friends? Total diss to one of the four people.

  4. Only three of those four people are on tiny cars. 😉

    I might get you one of those cars for your 16th birthday.

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